Evil Twins
by Kurotensaki13
Summary: Ichigo and Shiro, nine year old twins classified as 'evil' at school, begin their summer holidays! They plan the List of Evil deeds, such as killing their neighbor Byakuya's teddy...when they are suddenly sent to their uncle's house! There, they meet their cousin, Tensa. The twins plan their evil tricks and try it out on Tensa. However, Tensa isn't such an easy victim.
1. Chapter 1

Evil Twins

**Hi! Another humor fic of mine...R&R!**

1.

"Beep…Beep…Beep.. . -"

"Oh hell, just turn off that damn alarm!"

A hand shot out and did as it was ordered.

Moaning, nine year old Ichigo Kurosaki sat up. He was the one who set the alarm up, and also the one to turn it off. He stretched his arms and satisfied a yawn when he realized something very important.

It was the first day of summer holidays.

"Oi, Shiro, wake up! The holidays start today!"

In the other side of the room, there was another bed. Ichigo's albino twin, Shiro, was hiding underneath the covers. He was the one who screamed, thanks to the alarm.

Usually, he would get up after nearly a day after, but today was different. The other twin kicked the covers off him and jumped up.

"Yeah! I've been waiting for this day my entire life!"

"You say that every single weekend, you know," Ichigo pointed out as he put on a red T-shirt with a random chibi dragon on it.

"Whatever," retorted Shiro as he jumped up and down on the bed. He would have done that all day if Ichigo hadn't stopped him by throwing a blue T-shirt with a motorcycle design on it at his face.

As seen, out of the two twins, Ichigo was the more mature one. Remember, _more_ mature. Just _more _than Shiro who was…as teachers say, an unstoppable demon, while Ichigo himself was just a monster.

Once they got settled, the two started making plans for the holidays. Soon enough, they had a list of what they wanted to do for the next three weeks.

"Alright! We're done, Ichi!"

"Read it out."

"Stuff to do in the holidays. 1. Destroy all teddy bears in the neighborhood, 2. Rip all of Rukia's drawings, 3. Call Ulquiorra an emo, 4. Sneak into Grimmjow's room and erase all his game records, 5. Kill Byakuya's teddy bear…"

Ichigo interrupted that second.

"Wait, isn't that pretty much the same with No.1?"

Shiro eyed the list. There was silence for the next few seconds until he declared that they will destroy Byakuya's teddy bear twice.

"6. Steal Yumichika's make up, 7. Spill paint on Orihime, 8. Play with Chad and Renji, 9. Hide Uryu's glasses, 10. Give Toshiro fake jelly beans made out of rubber, 11. Ask Ukitake Sensei for sweets, 12. Hide Kyoraku Sensei's sake bottles and never give it back…" The list went on until 102.

Once Shiro was done reading the list aloud, they looked at each other and decided that it was satisfactory.

* * *

However, when they went downstairs, all the time spent on the list became useless.

"My SOONNNSS! You guys are going to spend the holidays at your uncle's house!" yelled their dad, Isshin, when they arrived downstairs.

"WHAT!"

Poof. And there goes the list.

"But whyyyyy?" complained the twins.

"Because you have to. Besides, your Uncle Zangetsu is really nice! And you'll have your cousin Tensa with you as well! You two will have fun!"

Isshin happily looked at his sons' face scrunch up.

"So? What do you say?"

"NEVER!" screamed the twins.

* * *

However, the next day, they were being driven to their uncle's house along with their luggage.

* * *

**So yeah. Two evil twins are not very happy are they? What will happen when they're grumpy? Review please!**


	2. Chapter 2

Evil Twins

**Hey! It's been a while! My last exams for the year is finally over! Yeah! **

**Thanks to Shirotensaki14 who reviewed! And also thanks to people who added this fic as Alert ect. **

**I was like half sleeping when I wrote this, by the way. :)**

* * *

2.

**Shiro's POV**

I am soooooo pissed right now. Ichigo and I took nearly an hour and a half to finish that List of Evil! I even named that piece of paper as 'A Piece of Awesome Evil Paper"! Well, it wasn't all evil. Anyway, then that Goat Face came over and said that we were going to our uncle's for the entire three weeks!

Moreover…He ripped A Piece of Awesome Evil Paper! No, he burned it! He killed it!

_-Flashback-_

"_You are going to your uncle's~ My dear sons!" yelled Isshin._

"_Hell no!" Ichi and I screamed._

"_Oh, yes~"_

"_We spent more than an hour to finish this list!"I yelled, pointing at the list._

"_Actually, it took us exactly an hour and twenty-eight minutes," Ichigo pointed out._

_Oh. A correction._

"_Well, nearly an hour and a half!"_

_Isshin raised his brows._

"_What's that list?"_

_Before any of us could react, he snatched the list out from my hand. He read it. Then it came. He became mad. Not as in angry mad, but the other one. _

"_MY SONS! HOW COULD YOU BE SO EVIL?! I MUST DESTROY THIS PIECE OF EVIL DEEDS!"_

_He took out a _flamethrower _out of the closet._

"_I SHALL BURN THIS DOWN!"_

_The flame went on. Both Ichi and I tried to save our precious paper…but we failed. The fire came in contact with the paper._

"_NOOOO!" we yelled._

"_BWAHAHAHA! NOW YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO CUT AARONIERO'S HEAD IN HALF WITH A SAW AND SEE IF HE-what's with the slash?- IT CAN STILL TALK! YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO PUSH AIZEN SENSEI OFF THE ROOF OF A FIVE STORY HIGH BUILDING WHILE HE WEARS HIS SUPERMAN SUIT-Seriously?-! BWAHAHAHA!"_

_-End of flashback-_

So yeah. That's how it is. Sniff. I only wanted to see if the rumor about Aaroniero is an alien and that he has two heads was true or not. Sniff. I only wanted to see Aizen Sensei fly in a superman suit he wears once a week.

I should have never shown the mad father the list. This is all…

"Your fault!" I screamed, pointing at Ichigo sitting on the other side of the backseat. He looked pretty baffled.

"What! How is what my fault!"

"It's your fault that the list was burned!"

"No way! It was you who showed Goat face the list!" retorted Ichigo.

"You put the flamethrower in the closet!"

"You hide a chainsaw under your bed!"

"Were did you get a random flamethrower from?!"

"I got it from Call of Duty."

"What?! That's a game! How are you able to get a weapon from a game?" I asked.

"Magic!"

OMG What an earth is my orange twin saying?

"WTF?" I said.

"I mean Kisuke Urahara! I asked if he could give me a flamethrower and he just took it out from the Nintendo!"

"Wait, do flamethrowers even exist in COD?" I asked.

"Um…I think so?" my twin answered uncertainly.

"Huh."

"Well, where did you get a chainsaw from then?" Ichigo demanded.

"Friday the 13th!" I happily answered.

"What? Seriously? I love that movie!"

"I know! It's so cool!"

"I watched it at school!"

"Same here!"

"Who showed it to you?"

"Kenpachi Sensei!"

"It was Ichimaru Sensei for me."

We were on a totally different subject now.

"You should've seen Kenpachi Sensei! He was laughing through the entire movie!" I exclaimed.

"Ichimaru Sensei was being himself as always," said Ichi.

We were so occupied with talking that we never noticed that the car had stopped in the middle of a…

I blinked. So did Ichigo.

"Um…Dad?"

"Yes, my sons?"

"Why did we stop in the middle of a forest?" we asked.

"Why, it's because we've arrived!"

…Huh? What did he just say?

Goat Face saw the confused expressions in me and my twins faced. He pointed out of the window.

"You see that house over there in the right? That's where your uncle's family lives!"

And there actually was a house in the middle of a random forest. An _actual _house. Two stories high at that.

"So…we're going to spend three weeks in a forest?" asked Ichigo.

"Yes! But don't worry! Uncle Zangetsu's a nice man! And so is his wife! So chop chop! I need to head off to work now!" said Isshin.

All our apparently wonderful dad did was to drop our bags and drive off in full speed, leaving us to enter alone.

I looked around. Trees towered over us. Birds chirped. The sounds of leaves brushing spread. Apart from that, it was so quiet.

"Hey Ichi. Are you ready?" I asked.

My orange haired brother nodded.

"Yep."

We took steps towards the house.

"Here we go."

**End of Shiro's POV**

* * *

We knocked on the door and waited. When there was no answer, Shiro turned around.

"I don't think there's anyone-"

The door banged opened and out came a tall middle aged man with unkempt facial hair and fairly long black ragged hair. He wore a plain white shirt and baggy trousers. He beamed.

"Welcome! You two must be Isshin's sons! I'm your Uncle Zangetsu, Uncle Zanny for short!"

The twins blinked at the sudden appearance, lost for words.

"Hey, Dad. Are they here?" asked a new voice, sounding very bored.

Shiro and Ichigo spotted a black hair boy in their age that looked similar to Uncle Zangetsu. He was looking at them as well with blue, bored eyes. He was wearing a black hood with jeans. He walked up to the doorway.

"Hey," greeted the boy.

The twins said 'hi' in return.

I'm Tensa. Tensa Zangetsu," the boy said in a bored tone.

Shiro did the introducing.

"The name's Shiro. The orange one here is Ichigo."

Tensa blinked.

"Why Ichigo? Why not 'Orange' or 'Mikan' (mandarin. The fruit not Chinese)? Suits better."

Before the twins could reply back sharply, their Uncle hit Tensa hard over the head.

"Tensa! Don't be rude to our guests! It's rude to make comments on personal things!" He turned to the twins. "This guy's Tensa. He's eight. Try to get along."

There was no need for Zangetsu to say the last sentence. The twins were already thinking. Thinking off something evil.

"Hey, Shiro!" whispered Ichigo as they followed Uncle Zangetsu to their rooms.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Shiro grinned back.

"Yep!"

They gave each other a high five.

"Operation 'Annoy Tensa' starts now!"

* * *

**Please REVIEW!**


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